Hey! Nice work on this piece. It's very energetic and captivating.
Suggestions
-at :22, I really wanted to here a huge orchestral bass drum hit that would resonate for a little bit. What you have now just doesn't seem to have a lot of presence or cut through much. Something with some more attack and sustaining power would be epic.
-After :22, a flute-sounding instrument comes into the background. I personally want to hear more of that on the foreground. Try boosting the volume and taking a little reverb off of it.
-The choir sample sounds a little cheesy to me. It was thin and had an awful lot of attack for a choir. I'd try finding something with a little more warmth and legato. Maybe check sound soundfonts on hammersound?
-Also, choirs are naturally very dynamic. They don't just sing one note after another...No, they sing each note in connection, in a line. They crescendo to the top of that line and come down from there. They even swell in the middle of a single sustained note. Try attaching the choir main volume (In MIDI, the CC#7 parameter) to an automation clip and getting the choir to crescendo to the top of a phrase and come back down from it. It will sound way more organic, flowing, and generally awesome. I'm refering to the high voices doing melody around 1:15 BTW, not the basses that sing quietly throughout the piece.
-You have a cool piece here. The drums, synths, and other instruments create a nice soundscape. The piece sounds like background music though because it doesn't have a strong sense of melody. The choir in the middle helps a little bit, but your piece would be much more memorable if you had a developed melodic idea.
Good work on this, Criminal. It could use a little more refining and development, but I like what you've got.