Cool sound, but unfocused
This gives me the image of a man charging through the battle field in slow motion. A bullet rips through his soldier and his face contorts in agony. Yet he presses forward, blood seeping from his wound. Another bullet glances across his thigh, tearing through his clothing and opening a new wound, He knows that he will die, but a certain sense of pride fills his soul. As one last bullet pierces his chest, he falls to his knees...the world is spinning, crashing, blackening...In his last moments, he remembers his wife and son. The love that he feels for them is almost tangible. He is content dying to protect them, and he thanks God for freedom. A single warm tear rolls down his cheek as his final breath is surrendered on the battlefield. The man will be forever remembered as a hero, but more importantly, as a loving father and husband.
Musically, I like a lot of what is going on. The percussive riff you have going on provides for a unique military flare despite the otherwise subdued music. The piano has its occasional dissonance, highlighting the struggle that a soldier faces. Yet the chord progression and orchestration paint a feeling of hopefulness.
You have a nice orchestral color going, but this piece only really amounts to background music. This is because there isn't a clear, focused sense of melodic development. For the most part, your melody line seems to go to the trumpet. However, it mostly lives in whole notes that are part of the chord. Make it a bit more rhythmically active and add some nonharmonic tones. Make a clear climax in the melody and build up before it. Increase the tension toward the end and make your music gripping! This is war, struggle, heartache! You could build up with a huge crescendo, thicken the texture, use more dissonant harmonies, speed up the tempo, use a more lively rhythm, or any number of things to create more of a climax.
In other words, this piece suffers most from stagnancy. It is pleasant but not entirely memorable. The way you make a piece memorable is often through tension and relief, and through a thoughtful melody. You have good compositional instincts already- I can tell through your harmonies. But develop it- study some music theory, and analyze great music. Think, "What is it that makes this such a successful piece? Why do I like it so much? How can I emulate it?"
You have a great start. Continue moving forward musically, and don't stop composing. :)
All the best,
BlazingDragon